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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about all the people across the country, and even around the world who suddenly find themselves at home with their kids 24/7 and “home schooling” seems to be whats happening, through no choice of their own. Frankly its a little overwhelming even for me to be home with my kids 24/7 with no end in sight, and I’ve been home educating my 4 kids for 25 years+!

So I thought I might share some things that have worked for me and for our family over the years, hoping it may help others as we collectively try to get our feet under us again.

No matter if you have always wanted to home school and this is your lucky opportunity, or if the situation seems close to total calamity and you don’t know how you will get through the afternoon, let alone however many weeks it lasts, I hope there is some help for you here.

• Routine– security from familiar patterns, knowing what to expect

Routine has literally been my saving grace when it comes to home schooling. I write out a “list” for each day that includes everything, all their school work, chores, showers, etc. and my kids know they must complete everything on the list and show their work to me (or it doesn’t count) before they can have screen time. Usually, after screen time is lunch and then outdoors we go either to classes (Taekwondo, ceramics) or park days. Its been the same since preschool age and to be honest we don’t normally have a lot of fighting over getting their work done as long as we stick to our routine because they know the reward (fun) comes after the work.

When they were little I walked them through the  list each day and things were simple. Now that the littles have reached middle school they work independently quite a bit, but we still come together for some subjects and to make sure they are “getting it”. My interest in their studies helps them stay interested.

Now that we are at home and not doing outside classes I have had to become creative about our afternoon activities, because those were the natural reward for working hard in the morning. I have found some fun TV shows, craft projects, games and internet activities that we are doing in the afternoons now and its scheduled in. My kids know what to expect and always have something to look forward to. Its still working, so far so good.

We also try to keep bedtime and wake time the same every day… it helps avoid the tired cranky kids who can’t focus or cooperate.

Sometimes we get off track and that’s OK. We aren’t robots after all and sometimes a break is good. It is what it is and we just try to get back on track as soon as we can. No guilt, no stress, just keep moving in the right direction as soon as we can.

• Connection– relationship first

Our family relationships are more important than any school work, any deadline, or any outside frustration or fear I might be experiencing. When I spend the time needed to nurture our family relationships then my child is (more) calm and (more) cooperative. Does it sometimes take longer and require more effort on my part and make me set aside my own agenda??? Oh Yeah! But the payoff is so worth it and in the end we are all more healthy emotionally, and we get more done. So if my kid needs some extra cuddles, or needs to go outside and run to burn off energy, or is worried about Grandma who lives far away and needs to talk about her… then we do what they need when they need it.

If they are refusing school work rather than let it become an all out power struggle I stop, back off and figure out why. It it too hard? Attention span is burned out? Is the just totally boring? Then I do what I can to fix the problem. Maybe I need to find another way to explain long division, or maybe we need to take a day off. If I can’t fix it myself then I talk to my kid and try to get them to help me fix it in cooperation or help them to “just get through it” if that is appropriate, but its based on cooperation not coercion. They don’t really learn well when they feel forced anyway. There is a time for learning obedience, but I have found school work to be counterproductive for that lesson, except for the natural consequences of not getting to do the fun stuff planned for after lessons (see point one).

There is always time to get the school work or chores done, but we have a limited time to build relationship with our family. Make the most of the time you have.

• Short Lessons

Kids have short attention spans. Long attention span is a learned skill. The way to get from short to long is practice, so we start small and work up. When my very active child was 6 we started with 5 minute lessons per subject spaced through out the day. If she couldn’t stay on task that long we stopped at 3 minutes or whenever she got distracted. We tried to keep it interesting and slowly slowly added a little more over time. 10 minutes is enough for early elementary, 20-30 for middle school. If they haven’t had enough physical activity or are hungry, worried or tired it may be impossible for them to focus, so make sure those are taken care of first.

If your kids are older and can’t seem to stay on task as you would expect then make the lessons shorter and just go back to it again later in the day. There is no rule that says all math must be done in one 30 minute time slot. Three 10 minute bursts work just as well, just make sure to stop before they are stressed or dawdling so they develop the habit of focus.

• Variety– change it up!

There is no reason not to make things fun! How to make it fun? Variety is the key! Keep them active by changing it up for each subject. Reading on the comfy sofa? Math in chalk on the patio? Music right after writing? Running laps in the yard before a quiet focus activity- YES! Changing location, changing what part of the brain is used, changing activity levels, all help with attention span so get creative and do some school in a pillow fort.

• Focus Up, not in at fear or out at the circumstances

Our kids pick up on our stress. If my focus is on my fears and stressful situations, then my kids pick up on that and their stress level goes sky high too, and that means everything is harder.

I need to keep my focus on the good, the calm, the helpful and Hope. It might not be politically correct but I’m going to just put it out there as my experience… There is only one way I know to keep my focus right and that is to turn to God. Pray, practice gratitude, and turn off whatever is overloading my stress.

If you don’t know God I would be happy to tell you more about Him any time. If you do, then open your Bible and read and hear from him, open your heart and pray and tell him all your concerns. It helps. Always.

• Take care of Mama (or Dad!)

We are living through something unprecedented in our lifetime and there is no one with experience on how to handle the things currently coming our way. Be gentle on yourself. Have a cup of tea, get your exercise, and be gentle on those around you. Get a few minutes to yourself when you can just to breathe. Just like they tell you in the emergency info on the airplane, put on your own mask first so you can help those around you who are less able.  There will still be time to do the important stuff, and you will be able to do a better job of it as well. Plan for ways to recharge and meet your own needs so that you have the resources in yourself to help others.

I hope it helps. Please feel free to make any suggestions that help for your family or ask question in the comments. ❤